


Broken, Beaten, Blue. Flawed for You.

by McKayRulez



Series: Distorted & Disturbed Diamond Universe [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - BDSM, BDSM, Dark, Dominance, Free Will, Masochism, Master/Pet, Master/Slave, Other, Ownership, Past Brainwashing, Past Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), People Change People, Post-Steven Universe: The Movie, Sadism, Steven Universe Future, Stockholm Syndrome, Submission, Switching, Time Skips, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2020-10-24 09:23:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20703659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKayRulez/pseuds/McKayRulez
Summary: A very different outcome between Steven and Spinel.Steven decides to be something other than a perfect replacement for his mother's pedestal.He makes a change to be flawed.





	1. Her Flaw

A whistle in the air, followed by an instant searing pain upon his back, which causes another startled cry from his lips. The agony of pain leaving him gasping. 

Red hot blood is dripping from the metal, onto the long stained scarlet floor. The blood of the swing, splayed droplets of crimson onto the walls, played next to the shadow of a pigtailed girl, with a casual and unassuming stance, and holding the weapon of a grim reaper. She was standing over a round huddled shadow with messy bushy hair.

“Are you crying, Steven Universe?” Her tone is cold and lifeless. 

He mentally chastises himself. His fists tighten white, in self-loathing. He knew what was coming, even those times when she’d stall and toy with his expectations. Keeping him off kilter, by avoiding repetitive intervals of her swings. So why did he always let the blows take him by surprise? It disgusted him. He should be better at this for her.

He figures her asking a question meant he was given permission to speak. After all, not answering would seem like rebelling. He painfully cranes his head to see behind him. He gives her a look of unquestioning obedience. “No, My Spinel.” 

“Hmmmm..” Spinel extends her long arm to the wall of weapons that adorned his mother’s old armory. Exchanging the steel scythe for the rejuvenator, but keeping the steel close by for switching out when needed, to keep Steven on his toes. She twirls her rejuvenator with a flourish. “Then I’ll just have to try harder, won’t I?” 

“Yes, My Spinel.” He looks forward again and subconsciously tenses against his wishes, as the scythe slices through the air and strikes his body hard. The jolt slices through him, electrocuting his whole body. His teeth chatter and his whole being buzzes. 

She quickly slices him again, this time with the steel. The cut shoots blood off of him, as it leaves him screaming. The electricity is back, making his vision grow white momentarily blinding him. Another slice and he can feel blood dripping down his arms. He stares numbly at the river of red for a moment, before a swell of joy filled his chest. Less red was in his body now. Less red meant less Pink. 

Pink. There was so much Pink that day they met. Rivers of dark pink cracking through the crust. He remembers how this started. How this all came to be. All the months ago, on top of the injector. Spinel’s voice like small shattered pieces of glass, as she sobbed, asking why she wanted to hurt him so badly. Him, mentally asking himself why he suddenly felt so compelled to allow her too. Was it compassion? Misplaced guilt over his mother’s mistakes? A shared kinship of sorts? Or something entirely different?... 

His mind is back in the present. She was two timing him, he realised too slowly, as the electricity and pain shooting through him was starting to make him grow stiff in tension. 

She had both scythes is each hand, duel wielding. She just enlarged her arms and hands to be able to, without needing to use two hands per staff grip. Pain courses through his body, as the blade cuts open his flesh. Steven hisses, as he feels hot liquid rushing over the previous cooling and drying bloody streaks. Rivers run down his shirtless body, soaking his skin and adding to the puddle collection in which he knelt in.

The next slice went straight down his spine instead of vertical like the last. His nerves were screaming and Steven couldn’t bite back the scream that ripped out of his throat. 

She gets a disturbing grin on her face at his reaction. She rakes over his cut again and again, making the nerves grow raw and mind numbingly angry. Everything hurts so much he can’t think. He loses his kneeling on all fours stance, as he writhes on the floor. The pain crashing down on him like a ton of bricks, as she repeatedly slashes over and over, not stopping. Searing into his skin. 

At some point, he started staring off at nothing, facing a side wall full of body armours of different eras in Earth’s history. If Steven could think at all right now, apart of him would wonder if those humans where like other ‘Spinels’. Being his mother used like toys and left behind. 

Instead, his body was limp and unmoving under her assault. Time became meaningless to Steven by then. He had no idea how long she went at it. His head space was only broken by her commanding voice that cut through the numb fog. 

“Well, look at you.” She drawled out. 

He very slowly turned his head to face her, wincing painfully as he did so. When his eyes slide up to her, he saw her face was full of satisfaction in her handiwork of his torn and mangled body. He smiled. 

“Do I.. Do I look perfect for you, My Spinel?” He asked weakly. 

Her eyes narrowed and she gave him a disgusted look. “Unfortunately for you. No. Still imperfect. Still flawed. Still disgusting.” She spat on him. She turned and walked away, but just before she exited, his mind cleared enough through the numbness to speak up. 

“You changed me that way for the better, My Spinel.” And he meant it. Now that he was imperfect, he didn’t have to live to be his mother’s replacement or to be some ruling gem monarch. Didn’t have to have her burdens to fix everything. He just had this. His role in life, to please and heal his Spinel. 

This was his life now. His freedom of a sort, through his slavery. The irony could make him laugh if he wasn’t so relieved because of it. It truly felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He knew the crystal gems, (Pearl especially), thought it twisted. Thought he needed to be saved, but no. He couldn’t help how he felt and he couldn’t allow himself to be manipulated and used by them and the Diamonds again. To be something that he wasn’t. 

He was a Human Hybrid, for Diamond sake! What else could he be, but born flawed? And he loved it! Spinel had shown him the way and he would always be indebted to her for it. 

The crystal gems would never understand that he needed Spinel and why she needed him. They’d also never understand why he chose to stay with her by choice.. She was the only one who noticed in just one glance that he wasn’t his mother and she made damn sure he’d never become her. To change and be his own person, meant everything to him.

Besides.. She wasn’t really abusing him. Not really.. He told himself.. He could heal himself whenever he wanted to. He just didn’t most of the time.. Letting the rejuvenator keep its effect, because it meant more of his mother was out of him. Her powers gone and bled out. More of an excuse to the Diamonds and to everyone else of him not being Pink. He could choose not to be her, and his Spinel made that possible. 

Spinel had paused in step after his sincere statement. She stood there for a long moment, unmoving, lost in thought, perhaps? Just as much as Steven himself? Her back still turned to him. Finally, she commanded. “Make sure you don’t bleed to death while I’m gone.” She hissed with forced malice, and disappeared. 

He gave her fleeing form a look of adoration. 

There was always the possibility she wouldn’t come back. That she’d leave and never look back. Sometimes she’d be gone for days to weeks. He didn’t know where she went when that happened. Perhaps nowhere in particular, really. Maybe just out of sight? She just wanted to see him suffer the same loneliness she did and he sympathized. If it made her happy and didn’t affect anyone else but him, than Steven was also happy. 

He’d be waiting here for her. 

Always.


	2. Her Toy

When she comes back later, he’s hunched over the floor, wiping the blood off the floor with his ragged stained shirt, once blue now stained crimson. He looked like some pathetic Pearl. It gave her a strange satisfaction, knowing a being as high and mighty as a Diamond could be brought so low to serve her. 

“What are you doing?” She demanded. 

“Cleaning.” He looked up at her with concern. “Someone might slip.” She narrowed her eyes and he flushed under her intense gaze. “I mean, I don’t care if I slip,.. but what if we have guests?”

“Guests…? Nobody wants to visit us. Those Crystal gems made it pretty clear they only come to kidnap you and take you away from me.” 

“I know but-” 

“But?” She steps on his hand. It’s not hard enough to crush it, but the intent is clear to Steven’s wince, followed by sudden wide eyes, that she did Not like to be questioned when she gave her opinion. 

“What if you have friends over?” 

She should punish him for his further stupid questions, but she can’t help but to enjoy her leering position over him at the moment, with him so low to the floor and her so high above him. It also helps these questions directed at her desires, were just further proof that he cared only for her. Like a good little toy should. So instead, she just huffs and leans over him. “I wont have guests, Steven. If you haven’t noticed I’m not very popular here. Taking away their savior of the Galaxy and all.” 

Steven’s whole body flinches at him being called a savior and Spinel sneers, enjoying his discomfort. “What about homeworld? You must have some friends?” 

She bristled at the word ‘friends’. Her pink hair on end. Friends? If she had any true friends, someone would have come for her long ago. No. She was just Pinks toy back then, and if she had ever thought differently she had learned the cold hard truth that no one cared about her enough to ever come looking. 

She doesn’t say anything and instead, takes her boot off his hand and uses the bottom of her heel to shove him over. Her hands are on her hips now, and her voice turns demanding. “Turn over, Universe! On your gem.” 

Steven complies turning onto his stomach, despite having to lay on the smears of blood and sweat. 

She stares at his bare, blue, black, bruised, back and after a moment, smirks. She admires the newly scabbed up cuts that interlaced over older ones with thick nasty scar tissue. She leans over him and runs her fingers over the crisscross lined mess of swelled up scars. 

She doesn’t know why she enjoys seeing him suffer so much, but it makes her feel oh so good in the process. 

Possibly, because she was finally dominating over Pink? Just vicariously through Steven? 

Or maybe hurting something finally spread her pain to others? 

Maybe it had nothing to do with her own agony. Maybe she just genuinely liked hurting others. 

In general, just ruling over anyone or anything for a change? She wasn’t the toy anymore. She had someone else for that. Someone who’d play her game, whenever and wherever she wanted, and for as long as she demanded. 

She was in control, and no one was going to take that from her. 

Steven turns his head and smiles up at her flushing. He loves it when she’s checking him out. 

Spinel looks up from her appreciative gaze at her handiwork, and returns his look with a genuine smirk. 

Whichever reason it was, no one could take any of that from her now. Not while she had her own toy.


	3. Her Equal

It had been a few weeks since his last pay time with Spinel. She had left him again to feel the crushing loneliness without her persistent presence. 

Steven tried to busy himself to keep the feeling of emptiness and uselessness away, but it was hard not to feel the weight of what Spinel must have gone through. The thought of just standing still instead of finding ways to fill the void sounded like hell. 

Outside, Steven brought out the mop bucket and tossed its dirty bloodied water into a bush. He heard a crack of a twig and looked up to see a looming presence in the shadows, as two yellow eyes stared into his. 

Steven didn't bother to shield himself although, his natural reflexes and muscle memory brought his arm in the assumed position, yet his mind thought nothing of it. 

"Jasper." 

The gem stepped out of the shadows, arms crossed and looking him over appraisingly. 

"What are you going here?" He asked as he stepped closer. His eyes gazed at her eagerly. His expression looked desperate, as he yearned for communication with someone to break the loneliness he had been feeling, even if it was for a confrontation. 

"I came to see if the rumors were true. 'The great savior of the galaxy'", Jasper rolled her eyes at the title and Steven cringed when he heard it. "reduced to nothing but a pathetic waste of space." She sneered. 

Steven sighed and looked down, feeling oddly disappointed. "That's it?" He placed the bucket on the ground and spread his arms out. "Well, have a good look then. Here's me. Being a waste of space." 

Jasper narrowed her eyes as she peered at him, and to Steven's surprise, she did indeed come closer to get a better look. She circled him, eyeing raking him up and down. 

She stopped at his back and laid her hand on his shoulder. The feeling of the touch made Steven shiver. Then she pushed aside the rags he wore. 

"Hey, wait!" Steven called out and reached for the shredded cloth, but was too late. 

Jasper let out a breath as she gazed at his scarred and battered breath. Steven shut his eyes tightly closed, feeling heat redden his cheeks. He thought Jasper would have mocked him. Gave some biting remark, but instead, when he opened his eyes, Jasper was standing right in front of him, crouched to his eye level and giving him a look of awe and wonder. 

"I didn't think you had it in you." 

"Had what in me?" 

"The desire of a warrior." 

"I don't understand?" 

Jasper stood to her full height, hands on her hips. "A warrior lusts for a worthy foe to battle. To be constantly fought, beaten down, and forged to be stronger, that is the life of a warrior." There was a wistful look in Jasper's eyes that turned painful. 

Steven frowned. "That's not what I'm doing." 

"You don't think so yet, but this is what gems like us are made for. This is what we are." 

"I'm not battling Spinel! This is just how we love each other!" Steven turned away and balled his fists. He was getting tired of trying to explain this with everyone. The crystal gems, and the diamonds... Connie and dad... 

Instead, Jasper just nodded and leaned against a tree, looking sad. "I understand." 

Steven froze, then turned and faced her confused that she didn't object like the others. "You do?" 

"I found that with Lapis. As Malachite we battled endlessly. It was the most amazing feeling I had ever had." She looked down. "Perfect love." 

For a second, he was speechless as he gazed at her in surprise. "You- You really do understand!" Steven grinned and for a moment the two gazed at each other like equals.


	4. Her Dominant

At some point, Jasper stepped forward. "So, you've felt the rush of taking the beating, but have you ever dealt it?" 

"Huh? What do you mean?" 

"The other side to being a warrior is to fight, not just learn to take a blow. 

"Spinel dominates me. It's never the other way around." 

"But aren't you curious what it's like?" 

Steven gave her a confused look. 

"To be the one in control. I'm mean you're a diamond after all. Being the one in control should just be natural. And well.. I figured, after all that time of just having to accept the life and consequences of Pink that you'd strive to be the master of your own universe."

"This life is how I've taken control. This was my choice." 

"Hm." Jasper crossed her arms unimpressed. "That's one choice, but why stop there?" 

Steven glanced away awkwardly. "Well, Spinel would never give up being the one in charge." He looked up flustered then hurriedly added," and I would never ask her to!" He waved it off embarrassed. "I mean given everything she's been through, and how little she's ever had control of her life and actions for so many years." Steven scratched the back of his head. "Besides I don't know.. I don't think I could ever hurt anyone.." 

"But this isn't pain just to hurt them. You're doing the stuff that you know your partner loves." 

"I.. I guess that's true..." Steven looked down flushed. "But as I said, Spinel would never-" 

"Then do me." Jasper interrupted. 

Steven looked up at her startled. "What?!" 

"Hit me." Steven stared at her quietly and it was Jasper's turn to avoid his gaze. "If that's what you want. Hit me." 

It took a minute for him to find his voice again. "Are you.. Are you sure that's what you want?" 

After a moment, she finally returned his gaze and there was lust for pain in her yellow eyes. "Yes, but it doesn't matter what I want. This is your choice to make." 

"I don't.. I don't even know if I have it in me.." 

"Then we both can give each other the pain." Jasper's helmet appeared and Steven's eyes widened. 

He suddenly felt the ache of longing. The need to be touched after so long with no human contact, but not just any contact would do.. 

He readied his bubble fists for a fight. 

\--

The blows were quick and fast. 

His past self would have avoided them with little effort or have at least bubbled his body to take the impact, but after having so much time training his body to accept Spinel's lashes, his instincts to move out of the way were null and void. 

Besides, he was supposed to take the hit. That was the point of all of this. Except for this time he had to remember to hit back. 

He felt a punch land his side before he even heard the smack of it landing. "Come on! Fight me!" 

He tried to return the favor but the hit barely fazed her. 

"Is that the best you can do? How pathetic!" She verbally assaulted, then grabbed him and pinned him against a tree. 

Steven's eye squeezed shut as Jasper screamed how worthless and weak he was as she slammed her fist against his stomach repeatedly. 

"I'm not weak!" He screamed. 

"Then prove it!" 

He needed to be in control. He needed to take this situation! He felt his body and gem heat up and suddenly Jasper was silent for some reason. He took the opening as he opened his eyes and swung an uppercut to her jaw, and while she stumbled back, letting him go, he kicked her stomach hard enough that she fell back. 

Steven felt a burst of rage and energy he had never felt before, as he pounced on her. He yelled as he pounded his fists upon her chest and face, as all the while Jasper laughed, enjoying the beating. 

All he could see was red as he unleashed his fury. Because of this, Steven didn't know how many hits it took for him to finally see that the skin of his fists and bare arms where glowing pink. 

When he noticed, he stopped his assault and sat on Jasper's abdomen as he gazed at himself, then after a moment looked at Jasper feeling himself snap out of it. "Are you okay?" 

Jasper chuckled lowly. "Never better." She flexed and laid out of the ground underneath him. "I'm feeling great. And you?" 

Steven looked down at his fists one more time, then looked up at her in disbelief. "I feel.." He paused and gave her a grin. His eyes sparkled with stars. "Amazing!"


End file.
